Valentino Rossi to Receive M.D. Degree
Nine-time World Champion Valentino Rossi is set to receive his first degree from the University of Bologna, making his nickname of “The Doctor” carry much more weight.Unlike most ecclesiastical honorary degrees given to highlight achievements in a given field – Rossi’s M.D. will carry the full weight and respect of any other medical professional, allowing Valentino Rossi to participate in residency programs, eventually becoming a physician.
“Allora, for sure, it was difficult, no?” Said Rossi, “I tell Maria to push very very hard and finally, we make a good result because for sure, the baby is here.” Although, the events seemed to have left a lasting impression on the Italian, as he pointed out that child delivery is “ah, kind of gross.”
Karen Mayonnaise-Smith had this to say, “I thought it was a little strange that a doctor had motorcycle leathers with him and to be honest, it was a confusing to see this old guy claim to be a motorcycle racer. Either way, we got that child out there with the help of good ol’ fashion elbow grease!”
Davide Trerè, director of the medical program at the University of Bologna commented, “Valentino Rossi is being given this full-weight degree for his recent actions while traveling. Rossi is a national treasure and at no point did we consider the sheer liability of granting someone the privileges of giving medical advice to strangers despite the complete and utter lack of training in the field. He rides a motorcycle very fast and those are just as complicated as the human body. Allora.”Lin Jarvis, Managing Director of the Monster Energy Yamaha MotoGP team also shared his thoughts, “I couldn’t be happier for Valentino. It’s no secret that he’s moving into his twilight years as far as racing goes, and maybe, this will be a new chapter in his professional life.”It remains to be seen if Rossi pursues a new life as a healer, however, he can do so if he wishes. Rossi has seemed to have turned over a new leaf, as his signature WLF which was proudly worn on his leathers for more than a decade has been removed, citing a lack of viva about the figa.
Editor’s Note: Just in case you’re wondering as to the veracity of this story, you only have to check the date to get your answer. April Fools Day! Happy first of April to all our readers!