Rossi and Lorenzo Heal Old Wounds

Rossi & Lorenzo Heal Old Wounds | Exchange Kidneys as Peace Offering
Valentino Rossi and Jorge Lorenzo

The feud between MotoGP stars Valentino Rossi and Jorge Lorenzo has grown to new heights. To calm the troubles and reconcile their differences, the two decided that it would be best if they exchanged kidneys as a sign of peace, not just among racers but among nations as well.

Movistar Yamaha MotoGP’s Ramon Forcada and Lin Jarvis have been working on the deal for some time now, the crew chiefs for Jorge and Valentino, respectively, came up with the idea during a series of clandestine meetings during the off-season MotoGP tests.

“He didn’t like the idea of having a piece Valentino inside him,” Ramon said when he first proposed the idea to Jorge. Ramon imitated Lorenzo and struck a pose that resembled that of a Spanish bullfighter while reiterating his feelings to the press.

“Nor did Rossi,” said Lin Jarvis. “Rossi has always had a strong mental game – especially when it comes to getting into the minds of other racers but this would be the first time he allowed one of his rivals into him.”

The two crew chiefs saw the writing on the wall after the 2015 MotoGP season: “Fans just weren’t letting up,” said Jarvis. “We needed to do something and soon…before someone got hurt.” It was Forcada who came bearing the olive branch. During the Jerez tests, he donned a cloak and posed as a peddler of rare and exotic wares. Knowing that nine-time World Champion Rossi has an acute fear of the old people who sell things; he was left alone in the paddock with Jarvis to discuss their plan.

Rossi was the first to agree to the deal. “We poosh very hard throughout the season, we need cease the pooshing against each other,” he said while in the recovery room of an Italian hospital.

Jorge, who had flown into Rossi’s homeland for the operation spoke about some of his reservations. “I am the fastest out there right now. There is no doubt; I have the most poles of all time.”

Despite being a complete mismatch for transplants, both of their operations were regarded as an immediate success by doctors. The two racers could be seen exchanging hand shakes as they hobbled into their respective taxis, however some reports from nurses on staff mentioned that a wheelchair race inspired by the 1990 cinematic masterpiece “Days of Thunder” took place between the two on the way out the door.

Enjoy your April 1st!